Unsheathe your cell phone

I think cell phones should come with sword attachments.

Not apps, actual sword attachments that slide right over the top of the phone, various models sold to fit your particular type of phone. The blades don't have to be sharp, in fact this would be a highly profitable position for Nerf to look in to.

You've seen this happen many times yourself, and you know you have. One person is sitting in a chair in a public place with phone in hand mentioning some feature or application they have in their phone, and just how much entertainment or informational value they find in said application. Then the second person sits down, takes out their phone and mentions something of equal value in their phone.

And that's just the beginning. Soon, the first person then has to mention some other app that is better then the one they were just shown, which is then countered by the second person with another app, on and on until the apps become more astounding and less sensible.

At this point, enter the swords.

Each person locks eyes on the other, wind blows their hair ever so slightly, newspapers rustle down the street riding the breeze languidly without a care in the world. One person jumps out of their seat with a blade rising out of the top of their phone as the second jumps straight in the air to dodge the first attack, a blade jutting from the top of their phone. They land, eyes locked, sword phones held in their hands with blades pointed down as the breeze stills and the music begins.

Anymore, it's not enough to have a cell phone. Now, a cell phone is less a phone and more a modern reflection of manhood or tech savvy. It's the fire stolen from Prometheus' hand. It's a tool, a companion and a crutch all at once. But it's not the crutch the emergency room gives out, but rather one we seek out ourselves. And since we choose our own crutch here, we of course are going to find one that we think suits us, that screams out our name for all to hear. It's the batsignal in your hand that goes no further than your palm. As such, it becomes a reflection of who we are, the apps being what we each are personally capable of and nothing more, within a certain price range, of course. Should someone have a phone that does something ours does not, well those are fighting words, and you should expect us to act according.

Have at you!